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Ted Cruz — when he wakes up this morning — might well be the first human in history to directly die of shame.

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So I suppose my question is: what kind of monster does that make him?

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Crucially, though, there is a Venn diagram of "blokes who think that millennials are soft-cored snowflakes who have invented jobs for themselves and are deathly afraid of hard work" and "lads who don't know how to wank in Incognito Mode", and that diagram is a perfect circle.

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This is not a nuanced concept.

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Description: He calls it "dipping the queso" and he is crazy for it. This is not a nuanced concept.

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